I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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