she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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