Have you finally orgasmed yet?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
