What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize