Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
