drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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