I just pynch a tree in the face
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
