You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
