Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
