I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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