i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize