I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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