She said her name was "party"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
