stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
