My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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