i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
