They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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