drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
