If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
