dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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