you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
