is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize