can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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