I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
