on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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