Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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