I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
