I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
