They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
