you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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