She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
