Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the day after is always just damage control
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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