S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just high enough for therapy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
