You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
