He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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