I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
