As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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