all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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