I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
40s are totally the cure
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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