The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
