I'm really into asian looking animals
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
