One girl and one boy is just not enough.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
