dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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