yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
