That reminds me...we need to get swords
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
