I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We're too hungover to prance.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
