So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
