You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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