My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
