Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
