I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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