It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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