sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
