Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
