How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize