my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
