i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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