I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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