Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
