it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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