even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
